Change Me...

I find myself praying this prayer often. Can you relate?

"Lord, you know my heart. You know that I am sinful to the core. You know that I have bad attitudes and that I think things that are unholy and that I desire things that are unrighteous. You know that I put myself before others and often even before you. You know my arrogance and my laziness. You know my heart.

"Lord, you see my actions. You see that I do things that are wrong. You see my self-indulgence and my self-righteous pride. You see the ways I hurt others and you see the times that I dishonor Christ. You also see the times that I refuse or neglect to do the good things that you desire for me to do. When you prompt me to say a word of encouragement or to reach out to someone or to spend time interceding for a need and I choose not to follow your prompting. You see my actions.

"Lord, my sinfulness is not hidden from you. This is not the person that I want to be! If I could drink a potion or take a pill that would immediately and completely change me into the man that you desire for me to be, I would do it in a heartbeat. I long to be a man that follows you closely, walks with you daily, forsakes everything that is not honoring to you, lives passionately for your purposes, rejoices in your presence, hungers for your revelation through your Word, chases after opportunities to share your love and grace with others, leads powerfully in my home and community and church, and loves you more than anything else. This is the man I want to be. I pray that you would change me into that man at once. I know that you can transform me. Why don't you?

"Lord, I think I am beginning to understand that you, too, desire for me to become this man but you have a purpose behind the struggle. You have a purpose in the battle that I fight to be your man. The moments of hard decision, the internal war between holiness and ungodliness, the daily choice to put one foot in front of the other to follow Jesus, the constant awareness of my weakness, the ever-present thought that I am one wrong step away from disaster, the feeling that on my own I will loose this battle, and the weight of my sinfulness that I cannot lift are all important in my life. They teach me to depend completely on you. They prevent me from thinking that I am the source of my own power. They strengthen my faith by making it necessary for me to constantly lean on you.

"I admit that there are times that I want the struggle to be over. Sometimes I ask you to take me home with you so that I won't have to fight the battle anymore. But I know that you have placed me in this fight for a reason. Give me strength to stand in this moment and keep me leaning on you each successive moment. Let your power and righteousness flow through me to accomplish your purposes and let me deeply enjoy your presence with me.

"I long to be yours completely and I will fight each day until I am."



Fight with me!


He must increase, I must decrease.

JasonPS

Why so serious?

I have always been a serious minded person. My mom once commented that I was born 30 years old. When I was 17, I told my pastor that I felt called into youth ministry. One of the bits of advice he gave me was, "If you are going to go into youth ministry you need to lighten up." I don't know why I am so serious and maybe I will never know. I do wonder how serious should we be as followers of Jesus. On one hand, we need to enjoy life and enjoy our God and enjoy all of the blessings He lavishes on us. Similarly, we have a freedom from worry and anxiety because we know that in all things, God works for His glory and for the good of those who serve Him (Romans 8:28). On the other hand, we can't forget that we are on a mission. A mission with eternal consequences which means that every action and attitude has eternal significance. I think that I am coming to the conclusion that we must be joyous soldiers. We are always vigilant and always have the mission in mind, but our hearts are full of joy in a way that keeps even the most intense moments of battle illuminated with hope and peace. Striking the proper balance is not easy. Lord, give me a serious mind and a joyful heart and make me well suited for your purposes.



He must increase, I must decrease.

JasonPS

Sacrifice

So here's something to think about...Sacrifice. What role is sacrifice supposed to play in the life of the modern Christ-follower? I suppose that most believers are willing to sacrifice if we have to, or if somehow we are put in a situation where there is no other choice. But what about the kind of "die to yourself" "think of others as more important than yourself" sacrifice that the New Testament calls us to? I recently heard one pastor describe it as the difference between "what can I spare?" and "what will it take?" Here is where the rubber meets the road: If we truly believe that Jesus is Lord, then we will want to orient our lives around His purposes. The problem is that we end up orienting our lives around our own purposes. For the most part, we are not living as if we are on God's mission, we live like we are trying to build our own little empires. Empires that include nice homes, expensive cars, stylish clothes, the coolest gadgets, hobbies and vacations that cost us thousands of dollars a year. The point isn't that we all of these things are bad and that we should simply avoid them. The point is that we must line everything in our lives up against the purposes of the Jesus, the Mission of the Gospel, the Glory of God and ask does this fit? But as I think about it, this doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of sacrifice... Think about this: If I really want a $30,000 truck but instead I buy a $5,000 vehicle that meets my needs and provides transportation for my family, that is not sacrifice. If I have 4 winter coats in my closet and I know of someone who needs one and I give one away, that is not sacrifice. If I have my sights set on a $400,000 home with more room and luxuries than my family could possibly use and instead settle for a $100,000 home that meets our needs, that is not sacrifice. If I have more money than I can spend and I drop $20 in the offering plate at church, that is not sacrifice. Sacrifice is when you give up something that you will miss. Sacrifice hurts. Here is sacrifice: A young family hears about a group of people in a remote jungle that has never heard about Jesus so they give up their life comfortable to go live among those people to share the Good News with them, that is sacrifice. A man and his wife feel a burden to help battered women and their children so they quit their careers and begin a full-time ministry to these women, taking them into their own home and family sharing their problems as if they were their own. That is sacrifice. I don't think we will get to the point where we can sacrifice until we have a sense of what we are really living for. And this will take God working powerfully in our lives. Lord, please mold my heart to match yours!


He must increase, I must decrease.

JasonPS

Who reads these things anyway?

I have put off starting a blog for years. Mostly because I can't imagine that anyone wants to hear what goes on inside my brain. I must admit that my mind is constantly churning. I am always thinking about something but I feel a sense of pressure that anything I put out there for others to read needs to be something worthwhile. I want to make a difference and have an impact...but a blog may not be the catalyst for profound life-change. Yet, here I am...writing my first blog. I can't stop thinking about Doogie Howser. Do you remember how they ended every show with him typing away at his computer recording his thoughts and observations? Well, I am no Doogie Howser, so don't get your hopes up. What I do want to do is casually share my journey of living out life as a Christ-follower. What will that include? Who knows. If you are along for the ride, I hope you and I can encourage each other to more passionately follow our Lord.


He must increase, I must decrease.

JasonPS